ok, so i didn’t even know the last post actually posted since my computer was being an ass… i posted it while feeling bored and tired and every bad feeling in the book… which is a bad state to be in while ur thinking of a post since it might lead to ranting about personal things that shouldn’t be on the blog or posting weird “Official Breaks”… and it’s funny because i’ve never been through an “Official” official break… as u can see, i always come back SOMEHOW.. apparently, blogging is having its toll on me…
Now here are just some of the many things going through my mind (not in any specific order):
* Married life isn’t what i expected. i haven’t dealt with alot of men, so i don’t what goes on in a man’s mind…
* I’m hating money since it’s becoming an issue with every single thing that you think of.. and it’s just pissing me off because i’m not a material girl and i’m hating the idea of it controling any aspect in my life and the things i want to do.. why do ppl fight over money anyway? are they going to take it to the grave with them? does it make them happy? i know these questions are clichéd and alot of u who know me very well are going to lift an eyebrow since i don’t usually ramble in such a negative way… but wtf, i’m angry and i want to get crap off my chest… not real crap, just shitloads of negative energy… i’m sorry if any of this negative energy is effecting any of u, but this is my only outlet and it’s MY blog, so osh.
where was i?
* My birthday’s 2moro… i’m turning 22… i still feel the exact same thing i felt last year.. i’m still a kid, and i don’t feel like my age. what should i do now?
oh and money is also a part of this since ppl are going to be wondering what to buy me… i just don’t feel like a birthday in the first place.. gifts are nice, they make u feel special because it means ppl are thinking about u… but i’d be just as happy if someone just sent me a cute sms msg telling me that they’re thinking about me and that they’re remembering good things about me.. make me feel better with THAT, not a perfume set with lotion and shower gel, i don’t even like perfumes to begin with.
i don’t know why i’m thinking like this.. or even TYPING like this… i guess i just felt like blabbing my brains out just to get things off my heart.. brain and heart team-work… yay…
i just want ppl to care for me and at the same time just leave me alone. i don’t even get it myself. it’s funny and weird and depressing.. am i supposed to go through this EVERY birthday? this whole “feeling” started on my 21st birthday, and now i’m feeling it again for my 22nd…
will someone PLEASE tell me it’s temporary?
anyways, i’m getting bored with this and i have to go… i don’t know if it’s a break.. i’m afraid i’d say so and i come back to post something…
so this blog is now… suspended in the air between posting and non-posting.. u figure it out.
