Feb
26

Top Ten Things I Believed Were True (As A Kid)

Filed In: General      

1- Imaginary Friends existed but were invisible to people other than the “owner” of the imaginary friend. i always wondered why mine never showed up becuase i never had a friend only i could see. Everytime i’d talk to a girl from school, i’d wish nobody else saw her and that we were MEANT TO BE OWNER AND IMAGINARY FRIEND, then somebody would come and talk to her and i’d be thinking “DAMN!”.

2- Hair would grow the more you pulled it up. i have pics of me as a kid with my hair pulled up so tight into ponytails, my eyebrows would reach the top of my head. so.. uhm, yeah… *keeps cutting up the pictures*

3- I actually believed what my mom would say that when you’d bite your nails, a hand would grow inside your tummy and then burst through like that thing from the Alien movies. but i still bite my nails.

4- Oh, and when i’d swallow a watermelon seed by accident!!! i’d have a semi-panic attack because i thought a real watermelon would grow in my tummy and then burst my insides open hahahaha… ugly image, i know.

5- I thought barbies were real WAAAY before Toy Story! always thought they stole the idea from me lol the idea was way over-due…
of course, the cars, horses, houses and Barbies Friends and Ken were NEVER real. Barbies were the only ones who’d come back to life as soon as i left the room…

6- I thought people had kids by cutting the mom’s belly open. and it’d ALWAYS happen that way. coming out of a hole never occured to me LOL..

7- The Dictionary was a real book to me. i could never finish it but it was a really good reference LOL

8- Phone numbers were given out according to when you were born. so if your number was 5555666, then you were born before whoever has the phone number 5555667. (don’t ask.. i was just crazy and had a HUGE imagination)

9- The “Emergency Flasher” in the car was something i wasn’t allowed to touch as a kid.. as a warning (not really), they (my parents) would tell me that if i hit the button, the car would fly… why did they think that that made the big red emergency flash button LESS tempting?!

10- Teachers LIVED in school.. if you saw your teacher at Burger King with her kids, it was EXTREMELY wierd! why? cos you’re too used to seeing her at school and that’s where she should STAY! Teachers were NOT humans, they did not have a social life!

(Quote from my brother: “what if it was a movie? imagine: “In A World Where Humans And Teachers Live Together… Arnold Shwartzeneger and Van Damme, for the first time, IN: I Know What You Did Last Semester!!!”)

Feb
23

My Faves Jokes/ Lists/ Qoutes…

Filed In: General      

All The Jokes/ Lists/ Quotes I Love:

1- There was a blonde and a brunette watching the 10:00 news. A
news reporter was in the foreground, giving a report. In the
background there was a man and a bridge.

“I’ll bet you 50 bucks that the guy jumps off of the bridge,”
the brunette said to the blonde. “Okay, it’s a bet.” A moment
later, the man did jump off the bridge and the blonde pulled
out 50 dollars. “I can’t take it.” “You have to, it was a bet.”
“I really can’t take it. You see, I watched the 6:00 news and
saw him jump then.” The brunette was feeling very humble at
this point.

And the blonde said… “Well, I watched it too, but I didn’t
think he’d jump twice!”

2- Cool Bumper Stickers:
-A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
-Horn broken, watch for finger.
-If at first you don’t succeed, try not to look astonished.
-Jesus loves you… Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
-I’m just driving this way to piss you off.
-Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
-Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
-Make it idiotproof and someone will make a better idiot.
-He who laughs last thinks slowest!
-There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
-Assassins do it from behind.
-If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
-Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
-I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
-Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

3- Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a
good meal, they lay down and went to sleep. Some hours later,
Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up
at the sky and tell me what you see!”

“I see millions of stars,” Watson said. “What does that tell
you?” Holmes asked.

Watson replied. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically,
I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful.
Meteorologically, I suspect we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?”

“Watson, you idiot,” he said. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

4- Qoutes:
- All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
- Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of I almost had a
psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met OK, so what’s
the speed of dark?
- Support bacteria - they’re the only culture some people have
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
- I intend to live forever - so far, so good…
- Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
- Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

5- A man walks into a music store and wants to buy a good, old-fashioned vinyl record. He gets the record and is ready to check out when he discovers that he forgot his wallet. Instead of going out and getting his wallet, he decides to steal the record. So he sticks it down his pants.

Of course, the cashier spots him on the way out and says, “Hey! Is that a record in your pants?”

The man replies, “Well, it may not be a record but I haven”t heard any complaints.”

hope u guys like :p

Feb
18

WB (not Warners Bros, Writer’s Block)

Filed In: General      
I don’t know what to post about…

suggestions, anybody?

…..
….

..
.

anyone?

Feb
17

My Amazon Wish List… MUST SEE :p

Filed In: General      

hey beoble (people in kuwaiti english lol)

i was checking out my list of Fave blogs and when i saw that William had a wishlist on amazon, i said: “I want one tooooo!!!”

okay, not with so many “oo’s” but i was happy to find out that i can make a wishlist of my own :D

i call it: Swair’s Wishlist Of Things That She’ll Get When Everybody She Knows Are Extremely And Very Rich.

i’m going to post it a few more times after i update it alot, cos i might download the dvd’s i want and won’t need them on a wishlist after all :p

hope you like ;p

and right before i go, i HAVE to tell a VERY stupid joke (7ada malaqa, bil kuwaiti):

Q: What did the astronaut see in his skillet pan?
A: An Unidentified Frying Object!

*runs and ducks from the flying shoes*

Feb
14

For Valentine’s

Filed In: General      

Heart 

Scientist Gets To The Bottom Of Love

The ‘heart’ symbol used to represent love is actually based on the shape of female buttocks, according to a scientist.

Pscychologist Galdino Pranzarone, who studied the origins of Valentine’s Day, says the symbol is inspired by a woman’s bottom as seen from the rear.

Prof Pranzarone, of Roanoke College in Salem, Virginia, told Discovery News that he analyzed “essential literary and speculative evidence from mythology and secondary sources.”

“The twin lobes of the stylized version correspond roughly to the paired auricles and ventricles of the anatomical heart,” he said.

But he added that the organ “is never bright red in color” and its “shape does not have the invagination at the top nor the sharp point at the base.”

Pranzarone indicated that the ancient Greeks and Romans could have originated the link between human female anatomy and the heart shape.

The Greeks, he said, associated beauty with the curves of the human female behind.

“The Greek goddess of beauty, Aphrodite, was beautiful all over, but was unique in that her buttocks were especially beautiful,” he said.

“Her shapely rounded hemispheres were so appreciated by the Greeks that they built a special temple Aphrodite Kallipygos, which literally meant, Goddess with the Beautiful Buttocks.

“This was probably the only religious building in the world that was dedicated to buttock worship.”

From my fave “weirdo” website: Ananova

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