If your father is a poor man,it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it’s your stupidity…

I was born intelligent… education ruined me…

Practice makes perfect… But nobody’s perfect… so why practice?

If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak…

How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?

Money is not everything. There’s MasterCard & Visa…

One should love animals. They are so tasty…

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two…

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life…

The wise never marry. And when they marry they become otherwise…

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives…

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today…

“Your future depends on your dreams”, So go to sleep…

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning…

“Hard work never killed anybody” But why take the risk?

“Work fascinates me”… I can look at it for hours…

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends…

i love Des’ree, this is one of my favorite songs by her and i’m happy that it’s stuck to my head all day… enjoy

You Gotta Be

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don’t be ashamed to cry
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All i know, all i know, love will save the day
Herald what your mother said
Readin’ the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view
My oh my heh, hey
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All i know, all i know, love will save the day
Don’t ask no questions, it goes on without you

*hums along all day*

Note To Self/Warning To Others: this is all fantasy, none of the following has happened, and it will never happen… i know some of you wish, but i really can’t do anything about that :p

10- Shreiking “Wuutaaa!!!” and “HeeeeeYYAAAAA!!” karate-style while distributing papers.

9- Staring at the doctor cross-eyed the whole class just to see if he’d notice.

8- Starting to tie up nooses and giving them out to any needy students.

7- Sitting on the doctor’s desk and and concentrating on playing the guitar like Kurt Cobain during MTV UnPlugged.

6- Whiping out the UNO and playing strip-UNO with myself.

5- Dancing the Makerena without any music.

4- Autographing bald people’s heads. Even if they don’t ask.

3- Begging the Dean to allow skate-boarding to classes.

2- Chopping up KU property and thowing it at doctors like confetti just for the hell of it.

1- Stabbing myself in the knee repeately with a dull pencil.

and if any of you and i mean ANY OF YOU PEOPLE, steal my ideas, i’ll start planning to chop u up like Sebastian in the Little Mermaid… except u won’t have a gay Flounder fish and a seriously red-headed mermaid to save you! HAHAHAHAAHA!!

Well, you shouldn’t ask how school’s going, but in a nut shell, all i can say is:

A bus station is where a bus stops…

A train station is where a train stops…

On my desk, I have a work station…

what more can I say…?

A gift for my foriegn readers who live somewhere in the middle east… you might or might not relate, but we’ll see :p

i don’t know if i’ve posted this before or not, but anyways, here’s a rerun of it :p

1. You’re not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat…

2. You think the uncut version of “Little House on the Prairie” is provocative…

3. You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read “insha’allah”…

4. You don’t expect to eat dinner before 10:30 p.m…

5. You need a sweater when it’s 80 degrees outside…

6. Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid…

7. You believe that speed limits are only advisory…

8. You have no problem with tractors driving 40kph on the highway…

9. You think all cops drive Audis and Mercedes Benz’…

10. You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iraq…

11. You get excited and spread the news when “Oreo” cookies show up at the grocery store…

12. You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign…

13. You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first…

14. You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green…

15. You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks…

16. You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn…

17. You think that all gas stations are made of marble…

18. You can receive every TV station crystal clear except the local one…

19. You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer…

20. You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought…

21. You expect gold for every birthday…

22. You think Pepsi begins with a “B”…

23. You think that a box of kleenex belongs on every dinner table…

24. You think water only comes in bottles…

25. You understand that when someone says “Bukra (tomorrow), Insha’Allah” to you it really means “Sometime during this calendar year”…if you’re lucky!