Ever been in a sticky situation where you couldn’t find an excuse to justify where you’ve been/ why you weren’t at a meeting or gathering or even class/why you can’t attend a specific social event/or last but not least, why you couldn’t do your homework or get a project done on time…?
Well here are some pointers to help you out of these situations that make you sweat and stutter and make you feel like life’s a bitch:

**Why you won’t accept an invitation to some place:

-I want to spend more time with my blender.
-The President said he might drop in.
-It’s my parakeet’s bowling night.
-I’m enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
-I have to go to the post office to see if I’m still wanted.
-I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
-The monsters haven’t turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots. *drools*
-I don’t want to leave my comfort zone. (perfect for school :p)
-None of my socks match. (happens all the time, right?)
-My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night. (woohoo!)
-I have too much guilt. (possible, right?)
-I’m uncomfortable when I’m alone or with others.
-I’m writing a love letter to Richard Simmons. (a must-do)
-I have to stay home and see if I snore.
-I’d love to but I have to re-arrange they keys in my keyboard.
-I’d love to but I’d be violating my parole.
-I’d love to but… I found a hair in my soup, and I have to find it’s rightful owner.
-I’d love to but…. i have to butter my flip flops.

**Why you didn’t go to some place you were invited to:

-Sorry, but the Blue optic buffer gasket housing bracket turbine core 357 hemi lifter emulator rod bearing clamp, with Tran optical delushment ball bearing, tripptoppened to a three piece microlator, wasn’t working in my car, and it broke down.
-Didn’t you feel the Earthquake?
-My crayons all melted together. *sobs*

**When you’re speeding:

-I’m sorry officer, I didn’t realize I was speeding, but I had cancer a few years ago, and I was just coming back from the doctor’s office where I get my annual cancer check-up. He told me I was still in good health, and I was so happy that I just forgot I was speeding.
-I wasn’t really speeding. Because I’m driving a sports car it just looks like I was.
-Sorry, I’m on my period and I was in a hurry to get home, because I’m bleeding all over myself. (works even better if you’re a guy :p)

**If you don’t do your homework:

-Sir! Sir! You’ll never guess what happened my dad works for the secret service and the geography project I done has some important data in it so they raided my house last night and snatched my project away then ripped it! (gets them every time)
-My sister ate it… (I don’t really recommend you use this one alot)

Now, i want you all to print out these excuses and keep them for when you face a situation that requires really complicated and true excuses, and then e-mail me thanking me for saving your lives!
All i have to say is la shukr 3ala wajeb :p
That’s what i do, SuperSwair to the rescue… *SuperMan theme song: dada da dadadadaaaaa dadada dadadadadaaaaaaa dada daaa dum dada daaa dum da da dadadada dada bruuuooom bruuuoooom duuuunnn*

= Booming voice: Next Episode, err, Post, on The Swair Blog: Pick-up Lines for the Manly and Desperate!!=