Awal shay, 3eedkum Mbaaaaarak!
Lately i’ve been trying to write stories and the ideas i get out are all very brief and all equally weird lol. I’m thinking waaay way ahead and i’m imagining movies and me walking on the red carpet and telling everybody how i was inspired by my brother peeing on me and how my parents cried with passion and pride and the whole ta’theer min el qusa every time i read one to them, and then some hot actor who isn’t insane, going out with older women, drinking and smoking as if he’s not gonna die because of them and is very very very hot for a reason and every one respects him and all (if you haven’t noticed, i’m talking about an IMAGINARY hot hot guy/actor/writer/great in bed/loves his mom/respects women/has a sense of humor/ stays in shape physically and mentally/will never cheat on you- kinda person)… where was i? Oh yea, and then this hot actor guy who plays the lead in my movie comes over to me and takes me away from the lights and the journalists and tells me how much he loved the script and playing the lead and then we get married and have 10 kids, even if it’s painful bas i’m in love lol, and we live happily ever after…

Whoa, i kinda rambled on there…

Now wasn’t i talking about just THINKING UP stories, which might even remain stories. stories i’m gonna keep in my laptop and shall never see the inside of a bookshop or the surface of anybody’s coffee table… It’s funny really, all these loose thoughts are being thrown around and i’m not doing anything about it cos i KNOW they’re stupid…

Tell me what you think, these could be possible blockbuster hits if they’re made into movies
“… and so they spent the rest of the day trying to clean the car insurance guy’s guts off the parking lot with water bottles. The End.”

“… my life story? Okay. It was a dark and stormy night, and my mom was 32. I was born. And then when I was five I ate some dirt. That’s my life. The end.”

“Once I had a dream that my brother took over the world with his army of stuffed dinosaurs… it was nice in a freaky way… and we lived happily ever after… the end.”

“And I was all WHOA and he was all DUDE and I was all like WHOOSH and then he was like HOLY LLAMA and then he like died or something….I dunno…”

“… and the sun decided to become 7.5 thousand miles closer to the earth, and then the water evaporated and we all died. The end!!!”

“… so he ate cheese and then he got constipated so he took some Ex-Lax but he was allergic to chocolate so he died. The End.”

“Once upon a time there was a cow. It lived on a farm. It had sex with other cows, and created more cows. It ate and ate and ate. And then it died. The end.”

“How could there be a Bride of Darkness?? I can just see someone in that costume up at the altar next to a black hole and the preacher dude’s like, ‘Do you, uh… darkness… take … uh, the Bride of Darkness… to be your … really … uhm… really… dark… bride?’ and then he just kind of sits there being all black hole-ish and the dude’s like, ‘I’ll take that as a yes… Do you, Bride of Darkness, take… darkness… to be your … dark… husband… uhm … thingy?’ and she’s like, ‘I doooo—AAAAAAAAAA!!!’ and gets sucked into the black hole… and then everyone just goes to the reception to eat. The End.”

LOL, ok, i’ll stop now hehehehehehehe… but that was fun, you can say i’m a genius now if you want to :p

Be brave and creative and do me a favour: complete one of the stories (without PINGUINS INCLUDED… you know who you are :p) and e-mail them to me, then i’ll give the winner with the most creative story a prize
The deadline is on the 30th of Feb., you have plenty of time to write a short story, just have fun with any of the past story ideas and we’ll see who wins
This is just something for you to have fun with, and i can’t wait to read the stories you’ll send me ;p