Hey, i found these really funny adult jokes (funny to me, most likely… me and my weird sense of humor :p) and i thought you’d like to read them too hehehe

But as i said, they’re ADULT! So, please, if you have any children near you, tell them not to leave the room and let’em hear the jokes HAHA
Enjoy!

TURNER BROWN:

A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, ” 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The small guy faints.

The big dude picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy, “What’s wrong with you?”

The small guy says, “Excuse me, but what did you say?”

The big dude looks down and says, ” 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Thank God! I thought you said ‘Turn around’!!!”

STRANDED AND SUNDAYS:

A group of people were in a shipwreck and were stranded on an island.

The group consisted of 12 women and 1 man. After a few months, the women grew horny and it was decided that the man needed to take two women a day and they allowed him to have Sundays off.

One day on a day off, he was just relaxing when he noticed a boat nearing. He felt hopeful that maybe they would be rescued, at last.

The boat was almost to the island when the guy noticed it was a man in the boat. As he got out the first guy said “Oh my God buddy, am I ever glad to see YOU, To which the second guy responded “Well alright sweetie! It’s been a long time for me too.”

The first man exclaimed “Oh hell, there go my Sundays!”

SLOW TALKER:

These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years. First guy asks the second guy “How have things been going ? ” The second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy “I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r.. i..e..d.” The first guy says in amazement “Hey! you don’t stutter any more.” “Y..e..s I w..e..n..t t..o a d..o..c..t..o..r a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t i..f I s..p..e..a..k.. s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l n..o..t s..t..u..t..t..e..r.” The first friend congratulates him on not stuttering anymore and asks why he is no longer engaged to his girlfriend.” “W..e..l..l m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I w..e..r..e s..i…t..t..i..n..g.. o..n h..e..r p..o…r..c..h a..n..d t..h..e d..o..g w..a..s s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k a..n..d I t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d s..h..e c..a..n d..o t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e a..n..d s..h..e t..h..r..e..w t..h..e r..i..n..g i..n m..y f..a..c..e..!” “Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?” asks the first friend. “W..e..l..l I s..p..o..k..e s..o s..l..o..w..l..y, t..h..a..t b..y t..h..e t..i..m..e s..h..e l..o..o..k..e..d a..t t..h..e d..o..g. H..e w..a..s l..i..c..k..i..n..g h..i..s s..c..r..o..t..u..m!”

FASCINATE:

The teacher asked her students to use the word ‘fascinate’ in a sentence. Mary said, “My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.”

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted the word ‘fascinate’.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Good, but I wanted the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny Siebert raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word ‘fascinate’ so she called on him.

Johnny Seibert said, “My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.”