I WILL NOT INSTIGATE REVOLUTION.
I WILL NOT ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO FLY.
I WILL NOT FAKE MY WAY THROUGH LIFE.
I WILL NOT TRADE PANTS WITH OTHERS.
I WILL NOT SELL SCHOOL PROPERTY.
I AM NOT AUTHORIZED TO FIRE SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS.
ORGAN TRANSPLANTS ARE BEST LEFT TO THE PROFESSIONALS.
BEANS ARE NEITHER FRIUT NOR MUSICAL.
I WILL NOT SEND LARD THROUGH THE MAIL.
I WILL NOT HANG DONUTS ON PEOPLE’S BODIES.
I DO NOT HAVE THE POWER OF ATTORNEY OVER FIRST GRADE KIDS.
NERVE GAS IS NOT A TOY.
I WILL NOT MOCK MRS. DUMBFACE.
NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR MY ARMPITS.
NEITHER THE GIRLS’ NOR THE BOYS’ ROOMS ARE WATER PARKS.
WEDGIES (not the potatoes) ARE UNHEALTHY FOR CHILDREN AND OTHER LIVING THINGS.
I WILL NOT BELCH THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
I WILL NOT GREASE PLAYGROUNDS’ MONKEY BARS.
I WILL NOT BARF UNLESS I AM SICK.
I WILL NOT EXPOSE THE IGNORANCE OF THE UNIVERSITY’S FACULTY.
I WILL NOT CONDUCT MY OWN FIRE DRILLS.
I WILL NOT PRESCRIBE MEDICATION.
A BURP IS NOT AN ANSWER.
I WILL NOT EAT THINGS FOR MONEY.
GOLDFISH DON’T BOUNCE.
NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN MY UNDERPANTS. (really)
KIDNAPPING A SEEING-EYE DOG IS WRONG.
THE CAFETERIA DEEP-FRYER IS NOT A TOY.