I like this poem and it’s hilarious, so here you go…

(P.S. Please don’t hate me, guys…pls? :p)

i’m glad i’m a woman, yes i am, yes i am

i don’t live off of budweiser, beer nuts, and spam

i don’t brag to my buddies about my erections

i won’t drive to hell before i ask for directions

i don’t get wasted at parties and act like a clown

and i know how to put the damn toilet seat down

i don’t grab your hooters, i won’t pinch your butt

my belt buckle’s not hidden beneath my beer gut

i don’t go around “readjusting” my crotch

or yell like tarzan when my head-board gets a notch

i don’t belch in public, i don’t scratch my behind

i’m a woman, you see… i’m just not that kind

i’m glad i’m a woman, i’m so glad i could sing

i don’t have body hair like shag carpeting

it doesn’t grow from my ears or cover my back

when i lean over you can’t see three inches of butt-crack

and what’s on my head doesn’t leave with my comb

i’ll never buy a toupee to cover my dome

or have a few hairs pulled from over the side

i’m a woman, you know… i’ve got far too much pride

and i honestly think it’s a privilege for me

to have these two boobs and squat when i pee

i don’t live to play golf and shoot basketball

i don’t swagger and spit like a neanderthal

i won’t tell you my wife just does not understand

stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band

or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep

then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep

yes, i’m glad i’m a woman, a woman you see

you can forget all about that old penis envy

i don’t long for male bonding, i don’t cruise for chicks

join the hair club for men, or think with my dick

i’m a woman by chance and i’m thankful it’s true

i’m so glad i’m a woman and not a man like you

hehehehehe… i liked the poem bas i really don’t feel that way towards the male species, i still love you guys :* :p